Lisa D. (chaoticidealism) wrote,
Lisa D.

Got a job. Scared.

Okay, so they just called me today--I have a part time job sorting mail. The sensory load, so far as I can tell, promises to be moderate--noise, but no smell; don't know about the lights.

I'm very relieved. I was going to have to tell my landlord I couldn't pay rent. Now I can tell him I'll pay the rent when my paycheck comes in, making it two weeks late which is OK because it'll be my first time late. The money problems haven't ended yet though--see below.

Still, I really need to keep this job. Last time I was fired because I was late--I was on time according to the time clock and had no clue the boss wanted me there when the store opened. (Well, kind of fired. They ended my temp assignment, which amounts to the same thing except I don't have to mark "Yes, I've been fired" on job apps.)

What's the best way to keep a job?

My main problems:
Sensory overload
Transition problems
Bad social skills

I'm keeping my Asperger's a secret for now. There are too many stereotypes about "dangerous loners" out there--and this job is basically working as a postal worker, on an air base. We have to go through metal detectors on our way in. There are way too many stupid ideas about "crazy people" being violent and dangerous and fill-in-the-blank.

I started today. I was late because the cab driver lost her way. They almost didn't let me stay, and I was in overload through half of the training session. Thankfully it was the half with a lot of useless information about the history of the company. Most people probably looked a lot like me--sitting there staring into the distance, with the world seeming not quite real. Unpredictability will do that to you. At least I didn't cry in public, except in front of the secretary who finally let me in. I shouldn't have done that; but I couldn't help it. I just found myself crying. Stupid unpredictable events.

They are training us. They don't allow any headphones or music. And they talked a long, long time about "working as a team" and "communicating". They specifically mentioned that they don't want the kind of worker who keeps to himself and doesn't ask for or give help to others.

Their attendance policy means I will have to try to work through my periods. I won't be a forklift operator or anything, so I won't be a danger, though they are probably going to ask why my productivity goes down by half once a month. Tough luck, guys. That's all I can give.

Oh, and the bus they promised that would take me to and from work, since I'm unable to drive? Won't be available till next Monday after I'm trained; and no, I can't hitch a ride on the buses that are already taking current workers from my town. The taxi ride to and from today cost me $60. Total, that will add up to $180 for three days of training. Plus $40 for work boots (required). My checking account is already overdrawn, and it'll be worse before this is over. Their reply to my query about a bus? "Oh, just get one of your friends to drive you." Yeah, one of the simply jillions of friends I have. At 3 in the morning.

Might as well post a sign that says "NO ASPIES NEED APPLY".

Let's hope my immediate supervisor, whom I haven't met yet, will be flexible enough to let me go my solitary way rather than having to constantly be responsive to a bunch of unpredictable things. I know I can give them quality work, if they'll just do that much.
Tags: employment
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