chaoticidealism ([info]chaoticidealism) wrote,
@ 2008-08-18 19:10:00
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Entry tags:autism, identity, stereotypes

Don't Blame Autrism
It seems like I see a lot of people with a diagnosis blaming everything that's bad about their lives on that diagnosis--why people treat them badly, why they don't have a romantic relationship, why their parents want them to be different, why aren't happy. This might seem OK at first, because that means you don't have to blame yourself; but it also means you feel more and more pity and helplessness--not good things to get trapped in. (And beware when parents blame everything on their child's autism. Therefrom come biomed addicts.)

But blaming either yourself or autism gets you nowhere. The only reason you should be looking at the cause of a problem is to get the information that leads you to the solution. Otherwise, asking "why" is wasted time.

The idea that 'autism is bad' can really ruin your life. It means you start to think, "I'm trapped; I can't help this; I don't know how to do this," and the only way out is the cultural idea, "Overcome your disability". There's no middle road left--either you "overcome" or it's a tragedy. But happiness and autism aren't mutually exclusive--in fact, I am quite certain that, were you to do a survey on the subject, it would turn out that we are happy at the same rate as NTs.


When you have a problem, don't blame it on autism and assume you have to solve your autism or the problem will never go away. Look at the problem on its own terms, from all angles. Get creative. Get help, if you need it. You might even learn that some autistic trait or other is actually the solution to the problem.

You don't need to be neurotypical to be happy. You don't have to be "high-functioning", nor have some special skill that you only have because you're autistic. Autism doesn't even have to give you any advantage at all. You don't have to justify your existence to the world: "Yeah, I'm autistic, but look at what I can do!" No. Much as certain autism "charities" would like you to think so, the value of your life is not based on whether you'll ever have a highly-paid job, a girlfriend, or the ability to speak. Nor is it based on how little you "cost" society. Forget all that. Forget what you're "supposed" to be and focus on who you are.




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don't blame autism
(Anonymous)
2008-08-19 02:50 pm UTC (link)
Then what do you suggest that those of us who have autism and feel we are really suffering do? Neurodiversity claims to have all these solutions but they never give them.

(Reply to this) (Thread)

Re: don't blame autism
[info]chaoticidealism
2008-08-19 03:02 pm UTC (link)
I don't think anyone has all the solutions--I just know that there are absolutely NO solutions in self-pity or trying to find a non-existent cure. I also know that NTs have problems just as bad as autistics' problems; and giving up a part of my personality to become NT, if there were a cure, would just switch one set for the other.

Find yourself a forum (I suggest AFF or Wrong Planet), post your problem, and you are pretty sure to get at least a dozen suggestions. Aspies, in general, have quite the tendency to try to fix things that are out of place... you are much less likely to get useless platitudes. If you are lucky, someone else will have faced the same problem and found out either a work-around, a solution, or a way to live so that it's not bothersome anymore.

(Reply to this) (Parent)(Thread)

Re: don't blame autism
[info]chaoticidealism
2008-08-19 03:04 pm UTC (link)
Whoops. I should actually provide links when I recommend forums:

http://www.wrongplanet.net/forums.html

http://www.aspiesforfreedom.com/forums.php

WP is a little more friendly to people who want to be cured, and they are also a larger forum, meaning a bigger base of people and more chances at a realistic solution.

(Reply to this) (Parent)

don't blame autism
[info]abnormaldiversity.blogspot.com
2008-09-03 10:23 pm UTC (link)
"But happiness and autism aren't mutually exclusive--in fact, I am quite certain that, were you to do a survey on the subject, it would turn out that we are happy at the same rate as NTs."

Actually, they *have* done studies and found that your statement is not true. Depression and anxiety are more common in autistics than NTs - see http://tinyurl.com/6xa9zj, http://tinyurl.com/588nwz and http://tinyurl.com/5p3xq3 for example. This is pretty clearly due to high rates of bullying, social rejection/isolation and other discrimination-related factors.

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Re: don't blame autism
[info]chaoticidealism
2008-09-04 06:01 am UTC (link)
Yes; to remove confounding variables you would have to compare the autistic population to a group of NTs who suffers the same amount of prejudice... I would recommend gay/lesbian NTs, or maybe a minority race in an area where racial prejudice is still common.

I might have stated it better if I had said something like, "Being autistic directly causes no less unhappiness than being NT". Acceptance is still a big issue. I do think many of us are resilient enough to have happy lives despite a large amount of prejudice or even a history of depression.

(Reply to this) (Parent)

Re: don't blame autism
[info]ivar.tj.myopenid.com
2008-09-05 10:25 pm UTC (link)
Blaming autism helps no one as that's not really something that you're ever going to get rid off, blaming autism just distract you from the probably more complex issue at hand.

I really liked this post.

(Reply to this) (Parent)

Your December 12, 2008 blog
(Anonymous)
2008-12-13 05:37 am UTC (link)
Hi Callista, I enjoyed finding your blog and reading your last entry about Faith and the leap of faith (even if it's only 1% faith). Best redards from atypical.

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